Hasslevania Arms
Short Sword: "A sword for the puny. Hey, it's free!" Rovert starts with this. Every game has one!
Lost Axe: "The Battleaxe of old. It requires two hands." Strong but slow. You can't use the shield while equipped with this. Can cut through the strongest of armor types.
Family Whip: "Bellhump family heirloom. Smites the Undead." A really fast weapon that does extra damage to skeletons, zombies, and the like. Some weaker undead will be killed in a single shot! Don't let it's usefulness fool you though- The family whip is not magical and can't do a thing against Phantom enemies which require magic weapons to injure them.
Blade of Del Duio: "Infused with Speed. Lowers Defenses." The fastest sword that also doubles your walking speed. Enemies will damage you more due to your all running around crazy and all. Carried into Hasslevania by the rogue Del Duio long ago, this is one of the game's magic weapons.
Pyro "Mace" Iac: "Lights stuff up. Burn Thorny Bushes." A slow firey battlemace that burns both enemy and blocked passageway made of thorns. You can also melt some objects like spider's silk with it. The Pyro "Mace" Iac counts as a magic weapon.
Holy Crap!: "Blessed Bowel Movements." At the cost of 1 skill heart you can summon and throw a priestly projectile of poop! It has the attack strength of the Lost Axe. In addition, it's the last of the game's three magic weapons. Not bad!
Devil for Hire: "Protects you for a Fee." A small flying devil that you can summon to follow you around and attack random enemies at the cost of hearts. It dies when you run out of hearts, cancel it, or touches a zapper or water. He's also afraid of the dark and will run at the first sign of a boss monster. Hooray! Also has a penchant for untimely comedy. Summon him for 3 skill hearts, and he'll drain 1 additional skill heart every 4 seconds afterwards.